I have been traumatized the last two months by a waistline that refuses to recede. I knew this pregnancy that I would leave the hospital still looking pregnant, so I was prepared for that disappointment, but unlike last time, I couldn't get back into my jeans after a few weeks. Or after a few months. I had some suppressed fears about this during Sam's pregnancy - after all, I wasn't working and chasing after kids like I was during Morgan's pregnancy, and I was home all day to be tempted by naughty foods. But my weight gain was healthy and I fit in the same pregnancy clothes, so I told myself all was well. It's not well. Women are already sleep-deprived, anxious, and stressed from dealing with their newborn - the last thing we need to be fretting about is the new pouch hanging over our sweatpants (since we don't fit in our jeans and refuse to go back to maternity clothes). And yet, with all the other things I could be stressed about, like moving, getting sleep, or my 2.5-year old who refuses to potty train, I focus on body image. Vain? Yes. Immature? Probably. But I'm only 26, and I'm going to have a lot of years in the future where I don't feel very good about how I look. I don't want those years to be starting now. That's why I've taken a drastic step and started exercising. Anyone who knows me well is very clear on how I feel about exercising - the words loathe, hate, and detest all come to mind. Especially if we're talking about public exercise. But thanks to my sister-in-law, I have a good workout video, and I'm averaging 2 sessions a week. That's embarrassing to admit, but coming from 0 sessions a week, it's still an improvement. Here's some feedback on the project:
Erik: "Wow, I've never seen you do this before!" He actually sat down and watched the whole mortifying experience, probably just so he could testify some day I that did it.
The neighbors downstairs: "Were you guys doing Dance Dance Revolution this morning?"
Morgan: "Mom, get up! You're not doing it!" after I collapse on the floor.
So far I have not lost any weight and I still can't fit back into my pants, but I'm sore everywhere and my sweat glands are getting paid overtime. I hate exercising.
2 comments:
Oh my, I HATE working out too! The only thing that keeps me going is that small window of time right after I step off the treadmill and pat myself on the back for a job well done and for one glimmering moment, I can relish in how good I feel... before the stink catches up with me.
I have faith in you. You can make those pants fit again! Force yourself to sign up for a 5K or commit money to a Zumba class or gym membership- you'll feel more compelled to show up or feel guilty for wasting money... that's what did it for me- guilt is a miracle worker. :)
Great post.
Thank you for this! I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels fat still, but I'm working on 4.5 months post-baby. I signed up for a 5K at the end of April and another in July (if you can tolerate running Google couch-to-5K) and so far have lost 10 pounds. I still hate running but my jeans are almost fitting again. I always like reading your posts. They're so fun and real (for lack of a better word).
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