First Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Tums compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger Ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
_____________
Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9x16 pan of double-fudge brownies
_____________
Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None - so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac
*Double portions available if you're expecting twins
Appetizer
Tums compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger Ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
_____________
Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9x16 pan of double-fudge brownies
_____________
Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None - so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac
*Double portions available if you're expecting twins
Fun, huh? We both laughed a lot when we read this, and then I started to wonder if I'll ever eat normally again. Thankfully my morning sickness seems to be tapering off. I've eaten breakfast first thing in the morning for a week now and haven't felt sick, so here's hoping that I'm entering the more comfortable second trimester.
3 comments:
That is amazingly correct! Though they forgot to mention that you'll be having the 3rd trimester menu every half hour.
ha ha, that's so clever and oh so true! Look forward to your 2nd trimester- if it was anything like mine you'll be lovin' life once again.
Lucky that morning sickness happens in the first trimester. Can you imagine morning sickness on a second trimester menu!
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